Colors

PURPLE pea coat
RED leather gloves
SPLIT-PEA GREEN cardigan
GREY and WHITE striped boatneck shirt
BLACK boots

I love colors

I love

when the library tells you you have an overdue book so you call them and ask them to check the shelves just in case...and it appears. Ha HA! Take THAT! In your face, library!

Barnes & Noble

is a great place to people-watch. Or eavesdrop. I overheard an old man talking to the invisible man across the table to my right, and some asian guys talking to each other on my left. Whenever the younger man said, "mmmm" while drinking his smoothie, he sounded like Jar Jar Binks. I pretended I was laughing at my book. While I was really texting my friend to tell them about this. They were also supporting the stereotype of asians being all over anything having to do with technology because they were looking things up on their phones and then showing them to each other. Hooray for B&N!

Aqua Weasels, Mexican Beer and Sunburn

Got back from the beach yesterday. Went with my family, which was all right, but it felt like we definitely could have done more things together than we ended up doing. Highlights of the trip include:

Seeing the animals at this outdoor animal park/adventure place
...this is where I saw the Aqua Weasels (otters) and King Julian (lemuuuurs!) and a ton of reptilian things.

People watching/eavesdropping
...I can't believe some of the ridiculousness we overheard and saw. One boy (probably about 17) went on and on to his friends about how he went to Mexico and "America is about the only continent in North America where you cain't drink beer if you're under 17. There's this one kinda beer, though, this Mexican kind, that ain't no good, though.....and in Jamaica everyone has their own [marijuana] plant, it's crazy!"

Having a "secret door" in our room
...it was really a sliding door that separated our room from the bathroom. The bathroom had a doorway into the hall as well, so this one was just fun to open and close and jump out of.

Blasting the Backstreet Boys in the car on the way home
...and singing every word of every song with my cousin. I am so glad we are relatively close in age. That makes all the difference in the world when it comes to family events.

Not getting sunburned
...for once, I managed to avoid sunburn. This is in part due to my zealous application of SPF 45 and the fact that I stayed under the canopy most of the time.

Good looking people
...there were not that many of these here this year. What is up with married men being more apt to smile at you than the single ones? GROSS. And it's really hard to tell how old people are sometimes, which is irritating. Also, where are all the people my age? Everyone is either 5 years older or 5 years younger. What the heck?

The ride home went waaaay faster than the ride down, which makes no sense, especially given the fact that we accidentally took the scenic route through one of the small towns . I really love the beach and this year I was able to overcome my fear of all the things I couldn't see in the water and actually dove into the waves. I give this vacation 7 out of 10 aqua weasels.

Every Time I Read What I've Written

...I think it sucks. The only thing that is even remotely good is the paragraph I typed without thinking one day at work when I commandeered someone's laptop. Why. Does. My. Writing. Suck. So. Much. ? Ugh.

Exactly

The following excerpt is taken from Chuck Klosterman's book, Eating the Dinosaur:

"...When I am in the active, physical process of writing, I am writing literally. It is always a literal, present-tense depiction of what it cognitively happening in my mind. Now, once a given sentence exists, that might change. Sometimes it changes just four seconds after I type it."

This pretty much sums up how people can be telling the truth and be seen as liars in the same instance. Perhaps while you are writing something, it feels true and you know it to be true. But, like he says, four seconds later your feelings and ideas could change. Mostly, this sort of quick change is inconsequential. But what about when it's relationship oriented? In the heat of the moment, you probably DO mean everything you are saying and thinking, but maybe five minutes later you don't. Why does this happen? How can we have such minute to minute, unique perspectives on things? Is this because we are fickle? Or is it because most of us aren't literal-minded people?
Previously in this particular essay, Klosterman discusses Ralph Nader and his inability to deviate from the literal. Everything he says and does is exactly as he means it to be. Is the ability to be literal all the time something one should admire? Or does it mean that you are missing out on certain aspects of life - like all the metaphors and similes and alternate endings available. Maybe if you are a literal type of person, you only see things in black and white, so to speak. I certainly feel that things are mostly in shades of gray, but that doesn't mean that there aren't certainties. They just change every four seconds.

Inadvertent Actions

Thinking about things can make you do them whether you want to or not. Like tripping while carrying a large platter of flaming cheesecake. Not that this has happened to me, but every time I see someone trip while carrying something you most definitely do not want to drop, I figure that they must have been thinking really hard about not dropping it. Why is it that when you obsess about something, the opposite of what you want to happen occurs?
Take, for instance, the classic "I will NOT text him, I will NOT text him, I will NOT text him." And then what happens? You text him. Sure, it's an innocuous (ooooo, SAT word, bonus!) "hey". But what are you REALLY doing when you send that? You are opening yourself up to a potential world of disappointment and confusion.
But how do you NOT obsess about terrible things coming to fruition? It's damn near impossible. You can try distractions, but it's like no matter what you try, it's always there in the back of your head, just waaaaaiting to jump out at you right when you pick up that flaming cheesecake. So I guess there is no stopping it. Maybe we SHOULD just let it happen and stop, drop and roll when it comes to. Maybe facing the terrible somehow prepares you for something you can't imagine. Then, when it hits you, you've got the extinguisher ready.

Parenting Tip # 476

Stop telling your child they want something that is not completely necessary just because YOU want it for them, e.g. pink frilly dresses for the tomboys out there, designer clothing for ANY small child and kiddie partials that they need to be fitted for since YOU couldn't be bothered to properly brush their teeth and they had to have extractions and now YOU dislike the way it looks.

Fourth

Watched fireworks last night - still as awesome as ever. Wish I could see them on the Mall, though, I bet those ones are spectacular. Still don't understand why people clap when they like the fireworks. Or when they like movies, for that matter. Can the people detonating the fireworks actually hear you? Probably not.

Rewind

Went tubing on Sat. and DIDN'T get burned. Major accomplishment. Of course, I was wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and a hat the entire time. Even though the river was low and you had to dodge rocks, it provided small sections of rapids which were incredibly fun to go over in the tube. Saw a few groups of people in kayaks and boats who were steadily passing by us. Now I'd really like to own a kayak, so I can go out on the river in that, or just take it to a lake. At one point, there was a small island where groups of tubers congregated and apparently were having a little beach party. Some girl was singing opera music and there was a lot of clapping and cheering. Strange.
The trip only took a couple of hours - apparently when the water is lower, it means your travel time is shorter. Would definitely like to go again, but don't want to pay to do it through a company.

Parenting tip #345

Remember that you are in control, and your child should not be given the option to get away with refusing something that is a.) painless and b.) for their own good, such as dental care. Do not ASK your child if they want to do it. They WILL say no. You TELL them they will do it and that it can be either hard or easy. And don't try to blame their refusal on the mask. The mask is not the problem. YOU are.

The Sun is on Fire

Even though I wore SPF 45 AND reapplied multiple times, my skin still turned a pleasing shade of pink. And what do I hear at work on Monday? "You look good with a base tan." What!? What?! A.) It's a burn. and B.) Being super pale is preferable to being burned (even a wee little bit) in my opinion. Unfortunately, my skin will pinken just walking outside for ten minutes. Reeeeee-diculous. At least I wasn't one of the drunken revelers who ended up with the more painful burns.
Speaking of drunkenness, every now and then I witness something that reaffirms my decision not to drink like a fish (or very much at all, for that matter) and this weekend was one of those marvelous times. From overhead, I observed word vomit. Actually, it was more like word knives, thrown with reckless abandon at an innocent bystander. And they totally hit home. It was disgusting to hear/watch. One individual commented that you "shouldn't judge a man while he is drinking." Maybe not, but I will judge the fact that they let themselves get to the point where they lack the necessary control to stop themselves from seriously hurting their friends. That is unacceptable.

Anyway. Life sometimes seems like such a waiting game, and it's frustrating. Whenever I try to take control and make something happen, it doesn't work out, and it's like, well, what am I supposed to do - just suck it up and deal? I think not. I've always felt like I was good at dealing with whatever came at me, but lately I have wanted more control, or at least feel like the decisions I am making are affecting something bigger. Being a part of something larger is important to me, and right now, it's just not happening. Lame.

End of Week

Friday = friends!
Saturday = graduation. really boring. mentally retarded girl behind us making loud noises made it more fun. wanted to thank her, but didn't want to offend her family. certain family members made thoughtless comments, again. hate how you don't want to walk out of the room because you know they are going to start talking about you. irritating.
Sunday = father's day. ate chicken and not much else because hate cole slaw and bean salad that was brought. wish taste buds were different. hated driving back because knew it meant beginning of another un-fun week.

looking forward to the next end of week.

tonight

went running. took a shower, started sweating as I walked out the door it was so hot. ate a five guys burger. watched the A-Team. beat the ominous clouds/thunderstorm to my car. rescued a runner from the storm. saw the coolest clouds ever then realized I forgot my camera. watched the night come down.

You

remind me of the babe (what babe?), the babe with the power (what power?), the power of voodoo (who do?), you do.

Wrote This at Work and Other Stuff

And so it was that the Zolorians traveled through the Spiro galaxy into the Divided Realms. Their main objective was to escape the wrath of the Breeghis and finding a new planet on which to produce an army capable of defending against and eventually wiping out the Breeghis and their parasitic young. As the ship soared through space, Captain Gorlock pondered the meaning of his existence, If only there were a way to advance the species by finding a compatible subspecies with which to mate, yet the Zolorians unique structure only allowed them to mate amongst themselves thus far. Gorlock reached into his pocket, pulling out a scrap of paper on which was scribbled a name. A planet, he had been told, where a suitable subspecies could be found. This was given to him by the Last Zolorian Mystic, nearly three thousand years old, the last known mystic of his kind who was hidden deep in the hills, a refugee from the lands destroyed by the Breeghis. Gorlock whispered the name to himself. Earth.

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Baking carrot cake. Hate carrot cake. But hate plain carrots more. Bag of carrots in fridge had to go, therefore, baking carrot cake.

Shiba Inu in my house. Looks like fox/weasel. Love pulling it's ears back and giving it slanty eyes. Also love saying SHIBA INU SHIBA INU SHIBA INU in its face. Shiba Inu is walking into every room and sniffing everything. Don't pee in my house, Shiba Inu. See you watching me type about you.

Subletter is gone. Getting new one. Must wash comforters in room to cleanse sexytime off them. New subletter better not suck. Friends say he doesn't. Seems nice so far.

Roommate leaving for camp soon. Going to clean the hell outta the house. Sayonara, Indyhair. Also will clean out fridge.

Hate washing dishes. Feel like have washed 1,097,987,398 dishes this weekend. Painted nails but no indication of this due to water making polish chip. Hate washing dishes.

Watched World Cup games. USA should not have gotten that goal. English Keeper probably hated by all of England and will be exiled and renamed to "Butterfingers". Germany vs Aussies - totally saw that one coming and know next to nothing about soccer - DO know that Germans are like machines. Very punctual, efficient machines. Want to watch Italy game (Forza Azzurrrrrrriiiiii) but will be at work. LAME.

Storms every day. Like, dislike, depends on if want to go to pool or be outside at the time of storm.

Spring VBall last game tomorrow. Good. This team blows. Summer league starting soon. Playing on better team that is awesome. Have something to look forward to.

Want to go to beach. Hate going to work. Everyone agrees on this one.

Things Kids Say

"Chloe, who's in mommy's magazine?"
"LADY GAGA! LADY GAGA! LADY GAGAAAAA!"

"I want to be a dentist! An animal dentist!"

"I like teeth!"

"Are you going to give me candy? What's that? Is it candy? What's THAT? Is it. . .candy?"

"Are you going to be good today Bobby?"
"Are you going to give me something?"
(Those are some fine parenting skillz ya got there)

"My nose itches, will you scratch my nose?"

"These are vampire frogs and they will bite you!"

"Is that a pterodactyl? Those are my favorite!"

"No mothering allowed!"

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On a sidenote:

So you know that sound that submarines always make in movies underwater when the crew is looking at the radar for incoming enemy missiles? The high pitched one, that echoes throughout the ocean? I'm totally hearing that sound emanating from some part of my house. Maybe there is an enemy destroyer in my basement. I'm confused. . .

Dear Annoying Person at the Gym,

Please stop doing those push-ups where you drop down to the floor from a standing position and then on every push you raise your entire upper body off the floor. It shakes the floor where I, and many others, am trying to stretch and do curl-ups. I know you are listening to your 'let's-punch-things' music and can't hear me, but I know you can see the Looks of Death I am sending your way. I would appreciate it if you would cut it out.

Thanks,

Everyone else at the gym

Notes from the Snowed Inn

I recently finished reading Wetlands by Charlotte Roche. It was difficult to read and took me a while to get through because I had to keep putting it down.

Wetlands is about ideas like feminine sexuality and scaring nice people with sordid descriptions of things that are sort of taboo - like bodily liquids, female masturbation, and sex. It's a sort of memoir written from the perspective of an 18 year old girl, Helen, who is in the hospital. She is in there for an operation and decides that she will use her stay as a means to get her divorced parents back together. Throughout the novel, Helen goes into much detail about a lot of things that would probably be considered disgusting in polite society, such as her sexual experiences, descriptions of her personal hygiene and bodily excretions. While reading it, I had to keep asking myself exactly what was disturbing about the descriptions. Was it because these are concepts that are not usually addressed? Or that they are somehow not 'allowed'? It's not like everyday you hear conversations about 'smegma' (look it up!) and other body fluids.

At the back of my copy, there is a short interview given by the author to a magazine and in it, she is talking about describing disgusting things. She comments that if you examine something long enough, it ceases to become disgusting. Maybe that is what she is trying to accomplish through her descriptive writing. If we analyze the disgusting enough, we can think about it without having to feel like we need to wash our brains.

And why are these things so disgusting anyway? The author points out that there are a lot of words and phrases for men's sexual parts/actions, but not so for women. She had to invent terms for the story. Why are women's bodies and all they things they are capable of hidden? Why should it be disgusting?

This book was a worldwide bestseller in March of 2008. It was translated from the German. Read this book.

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I went to bake cookies just now and there was no vanilla. Where did it go?? The last time I remember baking cookies was a few months ago and I remember there being a bottle of it then. Did someone drink it? That's like the fourth bottle of vanilla I've bought and only used like a teaspoon or five of before having to buy a new one. F this. I'm starting my own stash.


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This Weekend I Will. . .

-Finally finish reading "Die Kleine Hexe". It's a children's chapter book and yet I have taken over 2 YEARS to get through it because I keep putting it down and forgetting about it

-Build an igloo with my roommate. Or at least attempt it. If the hearsay is accurate and we get al the very least 24 inches, then I believe I will have enough building material. And it's not like I'm going anywhere in this town, anyway.

-Bake cookies. Snow and cookies complement each other so well.

-Start reading "The Savage Detectives". This was recommended to me by a friend and I'm gonna see how it goes.

-Watch movies that I have been meaning to watch. Like 17 Again. Ha ha ha ha!

-Take a hike through the snow. This should be an excellent workout since I am assuming that I won't be able to get out of my driveway.

-Shovel snow. Obviously.

-Play these concertos/sonatas/whatever I have been meaning to work on. I have an entire book of Telemann pieces that I have gone through and marked which ones I really like and want to master, but I never seem to have sufficient time to work on them.


We will see how this goes. . .

The Unicorn of the Sea

(Setting: front desk of our office, me and three seccretaries)

Me: I wonder how you get to be a commentator on one of those nature shows. You know, the ones that are like (begin vague brit/aussie accent) 'and here we see the Narwhal, recognized by the golden horn attached to its nose. Known as the 'unicorn of the sea', the Narwahl uses his magnificent horn to spear his food.'

Secretaries: Hahahahahahhaa!

(pause)

Someone else: Do they really spear their food?

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Tee hee hee!

Friday Night

This is what really happens on a Friday night in the life of an AVERAGE person:

Get home from work

Sit around

Best friend comes over

Talk about boys

Play some Mario on the wii

Swear at Mario/Luigi and fire throwing plants

Take a break to go out to eat

Swear at idiot drivers

Eat Mexican food

Eavesdrop on conversations at tables around you

Drive back, swearing at idiot drivers

Play more Mario and swear some more at things that come back to life and crazy purple fire

High five each other when you beat Bowser

Move on to next world

Put friends on speaker phone so you can keep playing Mario and swearing at game

Friends appalled at language and when they hear you say "F*** ME!" inform you it sounds like you are having a lesbian night in, even though words were clearly said in anger at dying 5 times in a row

Friends then ask why you two don't drive home and go out with them, say they will pay you to be their DD. You decide payment wouldn't cover cost of driving/joy of crushing Bowser and decline then hang up on them.

Play more Mario and try to come up with more creative swear words, then change strategy by going back to world 1 and playing easiest level in attempt to raise number of lives to 100.

Decide to watch tv.

Watch a movie on TeenNick and decide it's all a sham, how they portray people's lives and relationships. In real life, people are WAY more complicated.

Begin talking about boys again

Watch more of movie

Eat ice cream

Swear at tv for showing same commercials ten zillion times between movie

Go to bed

The End.

Come On. . .

I'm watching 'World's Strictest Parents' on MTV. And so far, the family the two teenagers have been transplanted to seems like they have completely normal expectations.

Their rules are:
-No swearing - easy enough of a rule to follow. I still don't swear in my parents' house because I feel like its disrespectful, even though they have never said to me that it's not allowed. And they swear in front of me all the time. Ha.

-No smoking - this is a disgusting habit, anyway, so I don't think it's unreasonable. The parents explained that when the kids smoke, EVERYONE has to smell it and this is totally true.

-Make your bed every morning - again, NOT unreasonable. I never had to do this, but I don't think it's too hard of a task.

-Put your dirty clothes in the hamper - DUH.

So far, these parents are NOT strict, they are average.

The kids have already walked out to the street so they can smoke and talk about how much they already hate the parents. Give me a break.

The mom is telling the girl she likes long hair to be pulled back at the table because she doesn't like food and hair to get entangled, she thinks its gross. Also, no elbows on the table. The hair thing is nitpicky.

ooooooooo, they have HORSES!! I LOVE horses! They smell so nice.

Man, these kids are a couple of smart ass punks. And everyone is totally hamming it up for the cameras. This just reinforces why reality shows are irritating. Time to change the channel.

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Last night I saw the new Disney movie 'The Princess and the Frog'. I enjoyed it a lot more than i thought I would. There was a lot of singing, it seemed like they overdid that part a bit, but I liked the characters. Ray the firefly was my favorite, with his 5 teeth and cajun accent. The bad guy was a pretty good one, too, the evil Shadow-Man, with his creepy shadow that was always doing malicious things to other people and his ties to his 'friends on the other side' (read: evil voodoo spirits). The trumpet playing gator, named Lou, reminded me of King Louie from Jungle Book. Both Lou and Louie sing songs about wanting to be human, although Lou just wants to play Jazz, not be King over everything.

It was even slightly scary, like when Shadow-Man's evil spirits went searching through New Orleans for the prince and there was much shrieking and scary sounds. There was quite a bit more frogginess than I had anticipated, though. And the prince's accent was weird. It was like a strange mix of Arabic/Italian/French/Island accents. All in all, though, I enjoyed the movie.

I Love Words

Which is why I read a lot. I love experiencing the trail of words penned by someone leading you through a story.

I just finished The Tommyknockers by Stephen King. It was allright. Every time I read something by him, I think that he must be a very strange person in real life.

I also read The Disreputable History or Franki Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart. This book was wonderful. It's in the YA section, but some of my favorite books are in that category.

I like when books have sentences, paragraphs and chapters that make you feel like you are connected to the story, to the author, to the ideas. It's like someone saying to you , 'hey there, you're not alone in your thought about X, someone else has had this same conclusion.'

I'm not surprised I love learning languages given my adoration for words in general. So many ways to say things, and so many connotations to be learned. Language is beautiful. If only I was a master of it and able to make use of it so elegantly.

Face Tattoos. . .

. . .are weird, yet if someone has one, I HAVE to stare at it. I wonder where you can work at if you have that kind of tattoo? Call centers? Radio stations? Goodwill? Record stores? Tattoo parlors? Stockrooms? Someone came into our office today with a face tattoo. I wanted to ask about it, but I didn't get the chance, unfortunately. I doubt there are many warrior cultures left in this country, so I don't have any idea what this person's story was.

I also saw someone with a teardrop tat on their left eye, but they didn't really look like a tough guy, more like a d-bag. Also, I heard they went to prison for something like not paying money owed. Pretty sure that just makes you a jerk and not a badass. Sorry, dude.

On a sidenote, I absolutely hate when people who smoke come into the office because after they leave, the room they were in usually smells like cigarettes. And we have to Lysol it to clear it out. Gross. Just this knowledge will ensure that I NEVER EVER pick up a cigarette. Also, I will always practice personal hygiene because smelly people also leave a trail.

Stop Changing the Covers of Books

I don't understand why, whenever a new movie comes out, the book it was based on is re-released with a new cover depicting characters/scenes from the movie. It irritates me because I just want to read the book, and not have a bunch of books of my shelf with annoying new jackets instead of the original ones.

Now my bookshelf will look like I don't actually LIKE reading, I just like owning the books because I saw the movie, which is not necessarily true. Can't they just keep selling the books with the original jackets alongside the newer ones? Pleeeeeaaase?

So I've Been Watching A Lot of TV Lately. . .

And I've suddenly remembered why I previously chose not to.

A.) Taco Bell's "Drive Thru Diet" - HA! I say again, HA! I know the fine print says something about this not being a real diet and people should be watching calorie intake and exercising regularly, but HOW MANY PEOPLE are going to see this fine print/care to read it. Now, I'm sure a lot of people are going to laugh when they see this commercial and think, "YEAH, RIGHT!", but the fact that they are even trying to rope consumers into linking "diet" and "Taco Bell" irks me a tad.

B.) The Real World. So I watched an episode or two and I just sat there dumbfounded. One memorable quote kind of sums the caliber of characters on there - "All the roommates are boy, girl, boy, girl. I don't think it was planned that way, I think it was random." UH-HUH. OF COURSE it's completely random that four boys just HAPPENED to be roomed with four girls. And the two "rocker/artsy" people were paired together. Yes, there is absolutely NO scheming involved whatsoever. Also, within about ten minutes of being together, characters are already all over each other, literally. Say, "bye-bye", faithful boy/girl friends who might be waiting at home.

C.)Football. I know a lot of people love this sport, but I just don't care. And this time of year, it's ALWAYS on. At least I can cross off the days until the superbowl and finally get a break from this madness.

D.) News. This is just depressing in general. When the Obamas aren't doing some movie star - like appearances (I think I remember seeing a commercial for Michelle Obama appearing on Iron Chef), I'm forced to hear about how the recession is "over", how the war is moving into Afghanistan, or how the 2ft of snow we got a week ago is a winter disaster. The local news channels have since changed their advertisements to portray them as being on top of it when it came to the blizzard of '09 or whatever it was. Maybe if this state didn't suck at clearing roads and responding to massive amounts of snow, it wouldn't have been made into such a big deal. I mean, COME ON!!!!

E.) Marathons of CSI, Law & Order, and NCIS are ALWAYS ON. I don't even flip to USA or TBS anymore because I already know it's always one of those three on there.

F.) Any reality show, really. I do like Top Model, but I tend to not watch until they do the photo shoots because I actually love the pictures, even though I hate the drama that goes on in these types of shows . On BBCAmerica, I caught an episode or three of 'Britain's Missing Top Model' and they were doing a season where all the contestants were handicapped in some capacity. There was actually conversation between the models claiming that some of the girls weren't handicapped enough. I guess being deaf doesn't make you as handicapped as missing half an arm.

G.) TV Guide channel. I'm sure this happened a while ago, but I'm going to comment on it now - the amount of space allotted to the actual GUIDE section of the channel is entirely too small. I didn't change the channel to watch "Sexiest Women of Sci-Fi", I changed it to FIND OUT WHAT IS ON THE OTHER CHANNELS. Thank Baby Jesus for the mute button.

H.) Speaking of which, I often use this button because the commercials are LOUDER than the programs. I read recently that there was some legislation passed to prohibit commercials' volume from exceeding that of the tv show, and I say that is the best thing they have passed in a long time.

Of course, there are a few shows that I actually enjoy watching:
Big Bang Theory
America's Best Dance Crew (coming back Jan. 28th!)
Glee
Fringe
Sing Off

And Syfy (WHY did you change your name, sci-fi channel? WHYYYYYY?) original movies. So suck-tastic, yet so awesome. If you have not seen Flu Bird Horror, Beyond Sherwood Forest, Ice Spiders, or anything else with terrible CGI stuff, you are missing out.

There is Nothing New About The New Year

I still live in the same house.

Still have the same job.

Still like ice cream and dinosaurs.

We're still in a war.

Still in a recession.

I still haven't read anything by Emily Dickinson.

I still don't believe in New Year's Resolutions.

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In other news, I just read the book "Bitter is the New Black" by Jen Lancaster. It inspired me to renew my "I-Am-SOOOOO-Worth-More-Than-This" job hunt. In the book's plot, the main character goes from being the VP of a marketing (?) firm to unemployed and rapidly has to reevaluate how much material things are worth to her, since you can't pay rent with Prada. Summaries and reviews about the book label the author as bitchy, but I think she's really great. She is assertive and confident, and yes, a little mean at times, but I agreed that some of the meanness was necessary.

In real life, bitchy people always get talked about and torn apart by other people who think they are NOT being bitchy by talking about someone else being that way. The world needs these people. They get things done. They call you out for messing up, instead of smiling and letting you get away with a half-assed job. Go them!! Perhaps they can be TOO bitchy, but for the most part, a little bit of assertiveness and penchant for The Right Thing is admirable. If I were to make a New Year's Resolution, which I won't because I think they are ridiculous, I would resolve to be more of a bitch. Maybe I would start getting what I want if I was.

But not the mean, nasty, only talks about people and has no ambition type of bitch. More like the THIS IS WHAT I WANT NOW I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN type. Because in the end, all you have to rely on is yourself. And maybe your dog.